Thoughts

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

I have a hard time organzing my thoughts and making sense of them. A lot of the time it looks like something exploded in my mind.

I'll do my best to list some of the things I've been thinking about.

-I feel like I'm in such a wierd place in my life. Such an "In-between" place. Ready for what's next but not really.
-I want so much to not lead a luke-warm spiritual life. I want to follow Jesus with all that I am.
-I am realizing that even though I know Jesus is the only thing that can complete me, I keep wanting and pining for things other than Him. I keep believing the lie that other things are going to make me whole, when I know He's all I need.
-I am terrified of lonliness. It's something I battle, and I'm worried that everyone will eventually leave. It seems silly when I say it out loud.
-I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm not sure I even want to grow up.
-I'm ready for a little romance. It's been far too long since I've had a real date. Does wonders for the self-esteem.
-I want to enjoy life more. Not that I don't now, but I think sometimes I take things for granted.
-I love to travel so much. I can't wait to drive up to Virginia this December and see all the sights. I'm excited about seeing my family too. I haven't seen my mom and sister since the beginning of June. I've never gone this long without seeing them and I miss them very much.
-I need to pray more. I need to believe God more.
-I want to find more happies in my every day.
-I want to love more. I hope people know how much I do love them.
-I am thankful for my friends. Truly. I hope they all know how much.
-I love the cold weather. It coupled with Christmas music makes me deliriously happy.
-Want to work on becoming more organized.
-Pumpkin really makes me happy. In all it's glorious forms.

God has shown me so much the past couple of years. He has revealed so many things to me about life, relationships and myself that are such solid Truths that I can't imagine how I did life without Him before. His grace is so evident in my life even before I came to know Him.

All I need to do is seek Him in all I do, and I know everything else will fall into place. It's just a matter of making all this head-knowledge become heart-knowledge.