The weight

Today was hard. The weight of the week has been pressing hard on me and I'm trying hard to just keep my head above water. I've been struggling with trying to remember important things and staying organized in both my personal and work life. It feels like there's just not enough time to do what I need to do yet the demands stay the same.

This year is new to me. I just haven't quite figured out how to do things right, and having multiple-grade levels in one class has been exceedingly challenging for me. I feel like I've been doing my best and actually felt like I was doing a decent job. My principal called me in today to tell me how I was doing and her review wasn't exactly satisfactory. I realize it is her job to give me feedback and provide me with constructive criticism, it's part of professional growth, but for some reason it hit me especially hard because I just feel like I've been trying so hard and then I learn I'm not really doing that great of a job. It's very discouraging and disappointing. I just want to be a good teacher. I think the fact that I've been tired and overwhelmed and frustrated all week hasn't helped with the way I've reacted to it today.

I'm not complaining, it just helps to get out my frustrations sometimes. These are the times during the week where I absolutely hate this empty apartment.

I think it's just been an overly emotional day for me and I just need to take a deep breath and thank Abba for all His blessings and let His love quiet me.