Intentional

Here's the deal: I'm spending far too much time doing things that have no real value. I'm browsing social media all the time. It's the first thing I do when I wake up, it's the last thing I do before I go to bed. I'm embarrased to even admit that, but it's the ugly truth. I've even told myself I should be using that time to pray, to read the Bible, but have I done it? Not hardly. I should be spending time in the Word when I get home from work, but do I do it? Nope. I'd rather watch TV.

I pray and ask God for help in so many things. I want to feel less lonely, I want better friendships, I want a better relationship with my parents, I want to feel better about myself, I want want want....and in the past few days He has revealed to me that none of these things will happen until I learn to seek Him. I mean really  seek Him. 10 minutes of passively reading the Bible everyday is not seeking. I'm not putting Him first. I am filling the emptiness and spiritual thirst within me with earthly idols that do not satisfy.

I use the excuse that I'm lonely and have no one at home to talk to, and the internet is my way of connecting. It's a complete lie and completely ridiculous. Yes, I live alone, and yes, it sucks at times. But I know I am never alone, He is always with me, and I am surrounded by wonderful friends who love me, even when I am not so loveable, and I get to interact with people on a daily basis.

I truly want nothing more than to know Him better and see Him do amazing things in my life and in those around me. I know in order for this to happen I need to be intentional about seeking Him and put the things that I am giving my affections to the side and focus my love on the One who loves me furiously and without ceasing. It is my heart's desire to follow Him completely.

That being said, it's time to take a break from social media. For real. I'm deleting the apps from my phone, and only using the internet for work/email etc. I'm limiting my TV time, and I may even take it out as well. I can't expect things to change radically in my life if I'm not willing to take the first steps. I haven't set a time limit on this time off, but I'm looking foward to what God will say to me through this and the changes He will make in my life.