I'm not gonna lie. Today has been hard.
I've been thinking a lot about my life, and where it's going, and if I'm truly following God in all of it. I don't know about you, but I'm in a place where sometimes I just ask "seriously?" I will be 26 this year and all I feel like I'm showing for my life is a week filled with work and an empty apartment to come home to.
This is the part where you're thinking "this girl is such a whiner".
Please understand that I am thankful. Probably not like I should be, but I know, I KNOW I am blessed to have a job, to have friends and family that love me.
So this is where I get stuck. When I start to feel the loneliness creeping in, I don't want to talk to anyone about it, because lets be honest. Most of my friends are married and probably dont want to hear about my chronic single life. I know I wouldn't. So usually I just keep my feelings to myself because
I don't want to sound like a complainer. And the truth is I don't. I wish I didn't want to be with people so much. I pray everyday for Jesus to fill all my needs and wants.
I dont know why I let my current status get to me so much. I am only human after all.
I want to surrender everything and just let it go.
I feel like I can never fully express how I truly feel to others, but I do take comfort in the fact that when days are hard like today, I can just lay it all down at the feet of the One who laid His life down for me and knows my heart completely.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
The next big thing in the blogging world.
Followers
About Me
- Kristen_Brooks
- I am pursuing Christ on a daily basis and in the meantime I teach a little special education.
2 comments:
(((((Kristen))))))
I believe the two of us are very much alike. Honestly, it's almost a little freaky. LOL! I'm 30 and I've only been married for two years. So I was very much in your shoes, with very few to understand the loneliness and barrenness of singlehood.
Were there wonderful opportunities to take advantage of as a single woman? Absolutely. And I'm grateful for that time alone, because it helped me be the strong wife and partner and person that God knew I could be and needed to be.
That doesn't make it any less hard, though. So. I get it. Praying for you on your journey. And I'm here if you need to vent or whine. :)
Thank you, Sara. I know that marriage and all that is not the end-all be-all of existence. I'm not saying I want to be married tomorrow or even a year from now. A little romance? Yes. But I know even as I worry about all this and lose hope I am not trusting in God's sovereignty over my life, and THAT worries me the most. So I'll be okay. I can also see a lot of value that being single has brought to my life, and it is only a season, albeit a long one. :-)
Post a Comment